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Cdjapan Apparel

Turrible

Yesterday's Swap meet was pretty awesome, though short (I sowwy Sara, next meet we go together we shall have dinner together!!!). I got about $260 out of it, and I only sold 3 things!

And of course what comes up must come down. *sigh*

Today I got the first speeding ticket in my 11 years of driving. I cried after it was over lol.

Then before that, on my lunch break, I go into the GAP to play wifey and get Yuki some new shirts. Somehow the cashier convinces me to sign up for a rewards card, and I don't realize that we are signing up for a credit card until after my lunch is over. As if asking for my SSN and adding an authorized user weren't red flags to me (said my coworkers). I'm so dumb.

Will probably go in for the mitigation hearing so I can at least get a lighter penalty for the speeding ticket. I can't afford my car insurance going up. But if I have to then only for one year.

Already called and canceled the credit card, I don't care if it dings my credit. I just can't handle even having another credit card, even though I know I'd never use it. 4 maxed out is too much.

I have been having a lot of uterine area pain as of late, and I'm blaming it on my IUD. I also bleed in between my periods, and I know that it's considered normal to spot between your periods on the IUD, but it's not that normal kind of "spotting." I don't even know how to explain it. The pain scares me more, because I'm not due for premenstrual cramps at least for a week. And my periods are usually regular.... but the pain has been about two-three months straight. It really sucks not to have insurance. I'm glad Sara told me about Planned Parenthood's Take Charge plan though, I'm going to schedule an appointment this week.

Lolita decisions...

Not that I have been able to attend any events since I work retail and never gets weekends off, but... whatever!

I have a teeny tiny lolita wardrobe now. I can count all the pieces I still have left! Hahaha. I decided that they're never going to sell, and my AaTP boots are hard to find (especially in new pristine condition) and since I DID get them for a steal I should just keep them. Who cares if they make me taller than Yuki; it's not like I will ever force him to come with me to a meetup or something :V

Also keeping the AaTP pirate buckle skirt thingy, apparently I got fat enough to fit back into them with a petti underneath :V and the length is just right on my short stumpy legs! (they too, can look long if I'm wearing a shorter skirt!) From the cardigans I got through Baby's outlet page, I'm brewing up some sort of casual pirate lolita coordinate XD There's a girl somewhere on egl selling her AaTP eye patch, I need to get my hands on them! I want a mini tricorn! AHHHHHHH

My coordinate:


As for the other cardigan I got, I don't really know what to wear it with, I tried dressing up with some of my non-lolita dresses and well... no. I'm going to sell it or trade it, I dunno. They're both a little big on me anyhow, but I can justify keeping just one.


My sister asked me to watch Wasabi at the end of July through mid-August, and I asked Yuki (since he's owner of the condo haha) and he was actually pretty excited about it. Which is odd because he didn't really like her last time at my old apartment (because she just barks at him since he doesn't make the effort to make her love him every time he comes through the door lol). I'm lucky I guess, she reacts well to me and our mom, maybe we all smell alike or something. She never recognizes my dad since twice she met him, he smelled like cigarette smoke the first time and the second he had quit for a year. It will be nice to have a reason to walk outside (for the dog's happiness more so than mine). I will probably take her to Greenlake to walk around (GOD I hope I find good parking T.T)

Now I'm off to sketch out the panels/dialogue of the manga I plan to enter into Shonen Jump's manga contest. It's open to three countries, and the prize for most popular manga in each country gets 500,000 yen. So if you won popularity in ALL 3 countries, that's like 15 grand USD lol. I could finally pay off my credit cards and THEN SOME. Not like a lotto winning, but at this point anything would help. It's great to get serialized too, it's a great start for any comic artist. And action/fighting comics are my favorites ^^

My Aussie-Chinese buddy Davy is working hard on guitar tablature for the song we want to collaborate on. I'm really glad I decided to sing for leisure and not push it as a mass-market idol thing. I never wanted to be an "idol," just an awesome singer lol.

Life is good, I just gotta push it to new heights!!!

A Lolito

I don't think I am ever going to get over Yuki asking what the male equivalent of a lolita is. "What is it, a LOLITO?"

Ahahahahahaha

;(

K-pop warning if you're not a big fan XD

Scary how it sums up my feelings in one song T.T I want the room Dara is innnnnnnnnnnnnn.....

I know how I'm decorating in the future lol.




It Hurts

Verse 1

CL
You wear the shoes I gave you and walk along the streets with her
As if it were nothing, you kiss her
You spray the cologne I gave you and embrace her
You'll probably repeat those promises you made to me with her

Minzy
It seems that we're already too late, has our love already ended? Please at least say anything to me
We truly loved each other, can't turn back?

Dara
I'm the only one hurting tonight

HOOK
Bom
Have you changed? Am I no longer in your heart now?
When I, I think about you, It hurts, hurts, hurts so much

Verse 2
Minzy
You look at my tears as if it were nothing
You continue to talk calmly again

CL
You told me cruelly that you couldn't deny
That you had absolutely no attachments or regrets

Bom
Are we already too late? Is our love over?
Even if it's a lie, please tell me it isn't so
I can do better now, though we can't meet again

Dara
I'm the only one in pain tonight

HOOK
CL
Have you changed? Am I no longer in your heart now?
When I, I think about you, It hurts, hurts, hurts so much

Minzy
You're no longer your old self

CL
Because the you I loved, and the you now are so different

Dara
Are you that shocked? I just stood and cried watching you become further away

Bom
No way, I can't recognize
You're not mine any more

Dara
Did you have to change? Can't you come back?
Did you really have to change? Can't you come back?
Did you have to change? Can't you come back?
Why did you have to change? Can't you keep loving me?

Bom
Oh, is this the end?
Am I no longer in your heart now?
When I, I think about you

Minzy
It hurts, hurts, hurts so much, it hurts, it hurts

CL
It hurts, it hurts

So this is what acting is like...

I've always had a curiosity for acting. It probably started when I was 8 years old, imitating everyone and everything, right down to crying scenes and foreign accents, and being an emotional wreck since then lol.

Everytime I would cry my mom would say "JEEZ, maybe you should be an actress when you grow up. What an act!"

There's a thousand different meanings to that one phrase, but I won't get into that.

Sad that the acting classes are over. Today was the day long workshop for auditions and monologues. Learned a lot. Got really revved up to do my monologue, but ended up going last, and while I was saying the beginning I went blank. I really had my lines down too, so I was really disappointed and flabbergasted and ended up asking for my lines twice. I think it was because the camera was set up behind my classmates/audience, and I didn't know where to focus my eye contact.

However my teacher made us all go through the monologues again, and I did mess up the lines slightly, but just the order in which way they should go, not the emotion. I didn't get flustered. And the emotion was definitely there.

It's strange how I try to connect with the dialogue. I tried to connect to O-Ren Ishii's character, growing up half Chinese/white and taking over the Yakuza means racial discrimination, so I tried to remember my own feelings of when I lived in Ada. So the anger came very naturally for me. Let's just wait and see what it will look like on camera though >.>;;

And partly the other reason why I got nervous is because there's a cute guy in my class lol. He's obviously a university student, kind of a jock (which is weird because I'm NEVER attracted to jocks, especially after having been bullied by them all throughout middle school and junior high). Anyway he had to leave partway through the workshop to go take a final in another building. However he returned when the monologues were starting.

I kept trying to tell myself, don't pay attention to the cute guy, and what he will think of your angry face, etc. The things that go through my head lol. After all this time thinking I would try and set myself apart from most Asian actresses and NOT care about what the hell my face looks like, therefore resulting in genuine acting. Yeah that failed lol.

After the class was over he came over to tell me that I make a very convincing O-Ren. I was very grateful. I told him I liked his monologue from Fight Club lol. God I love that movie. This other older lady named Kim joined in our conversation to say how well I did. Before we did the monologues she asked if I had any prior acting experience, which she assumed I did from all our class exercises lol. I don't know if she was just being nice, or maybe she wanted compliments in return, or if she really felt I did a good job when it came to acting. I can't read people >.< She was certainly a genuinely nice person though, that I CAN tell.

I hate myself for being a total chicken and not asking said cute guy for contact info, or at least saying something like "see you around" or "hope to see you in another class" or something. *sigh* See why I kept telling myself NOT to be nervous? There's no point in being nervous if he's not in my future somewhere. I like beating myself up. And it's so rare that I find someone I'm attracted to. *sigh*

Movie class has been extended to two more classes, this Thursday being ADR, and the next NEXT Thursday being the wrap party. I'm going to buy a finished DVD of the movie for sure lol. My sister said she can always make a trailer out of my scenes if I want to use them for auditions and such.

I don't know if I'm ready to go out and audition already for roles in complete stranger's films. I don't know if I'm socially ready yet haha. I'm starting to wonder if I will be qualified to attend Cornish, since I don't really have much acting or performing experience at all. I know I'm a decent singer... but knowing that isn't really going to help, since I have no performance experience to prove it, besides the audition process. I don't know if I will enjoy theater or not. But I sure as hell think I will enjoy films lol. Even though I had to film SEVERAL takes/angles on ONE scene, and a lot of work went into just this one low budget student film, it was really fun.

Would improv and that sort of thing help? I'm wondering if that is only beneficial to theater acting. The same teacher is holding improv and character classes this summer, and I'm wondering if I should take those instead of attempting Cornish. Or maybe I should at least ATTEMPT to audition for Cornish to see what I can do financially and IF I even get accepted... If I decide not to go, and instead try my hand at others indie films... I'm not sure what would be the beneficial route. Having gone part time at work may help some, but I still have to work around others schedules, not my own. I guess I can worry about that a little later.

Signed my life away lol

After much thought, I've decided to sign the new lease with the special offers, with Brent STILL as my roommate. We're both too poor to move, and as much as I want to move to Capitol Hill where all my buddies are, I just can't afford it by myself.

My sister told me a few weeks ago to just deal with Brent for another year, at least we'll both be able to save some money this time around. Or at least I will. It's up to Brent what he does with his money. Of course he agreed to pay more on the rent and now the additional parking. Utilities at some point will have to be put under our name the landlady said, but that's something we won't have to worry about for a while since paperwork on their end will be a headache. With that said it's still cheaper than finding a new place. Security deposits are as much as a month's rent, most places don't include the utilities (the ones like water/sewer/garbage).

At least I can still bus over (or walk) to the International District. I don't get my own comfy studio, but I'm definitely going to redecorate my room. And get it organized. And buy more furniture XD And get rid of that awful-hard-as-a-rock-Ikea couch.

Yay and with Brent actually paying me I will have more monies for my hobbies XD

Watched a movie...

Just saw "Black Swan" with Sara :D It was crazy and freaky but good. Like Perfect Blue XD

And the ballet theme got me thinking about one of the stories in the "Pet Shop of Horrors" manga, which was very similar XD



Sorry if that becomes a huge spoiler lol. They are all short stories anyway. But definitely one of my favorite manga.

Reminds me of how much I want to draw again. Should really finish my comics. Or start on them. Or continue. Whatever XD

Ohhhh dilemna :(

So our landlady gave me an offer on the rent, since our lease is expiring at the end of February. There is a 5% increase, but other than that it's still pretty cheap (if I renew the lease it will be $893 a month instead of $850, plus a $250 renewal bonus for the first month XD). But I want Brent to move out, so I would be taking on paying for food, electric bill, and internet bill in addition to the rent and my phone bill. I asked her about studios, but they would actually cost more than what I will be paying for on the this current apt, my guess is because of the originally cheap deal I got on this place O.o

It's still a great deal... and if I moved out I would have to pay for new deposits, moving fees, etc. (pain in the ass) So I will most likely stay here... but I still worry if I can take on the extra bills, and still have leisure money XD And I wanted a smaller place like a studio so I wouldn't have to buy a couch >.< I was just going to use my bed as a couch too. Now I will have all this space O.o Space I don't know what to do with.

I suppose I will live. Sis says tough it out for a while, and if it becomes too hard to handle then post signs at Uwajimaya or something searching for a roommate lol. Rent out a place to sleep for like $500 >.<

Letting Brent stay longer is just NOT an option for me. I don't mean to be coldhearted but it's for the best for BOTH of us. I want to move on and he needs to as well. We are still friends though! In fact we've been getting along quite well recently. I've been keeping my anger in check, and we are able to converse more freely XD I think it's because I've been holing myself up in my room most of the time, to avoid conflict. It seems to work, and when we do watch TV or movies together it's not so bad. But I can't keep that up in my OWN apt forever.

I have till the end of the month to sign a new lease and take advantage of the somewhat cheap rent. *sigh* I know what I gotta do. I just wish my best friend was single so I could bug her to move to Washington XD Darn their Oklahoma house and her bf for hogging her D: